Dec 2018 – Week 52

So here we are. The last week of this rather substandard year has been and gone. A week I spend entirely on my own. No children. No au pair. No friends. No family. No husband or partner. Just me and a half comatose cat because he had as little trip to the vets on Christmas Eve. It would be an understatement to say I was dreading this week for months. Spending the most anticipated family holiday of the year all by yourself is a little daunting. I’m kidding. It’s downright scary. Horrifying really and absolutely not where I thought I would find myself in life at my age. I do admit, whilst I enjoyed the peace and the chance to finally get some rest and for once not have to deal with the usual stress the holidays bring, there were the occasional moments when I felt utterly lonely. And yes, I had a few moments when I cried. The main thing though – I’m still here. I managed it. That is quite reassuring for the next year to come. If I can handle the season of holly and carols on my own, I’m sure I can do the same with the weeks and months that lie ahead. And to be quite frank, despite the few highs, overall this year has been remarkably substandard so it can only get better. At least one would hope so.

I have come to the conclusion that this new year, I will not waste any time of resolutions that never work out anyway. I will instead adopt the let’s put in a little more effort approach. For example, I can speak some Spanish but so basic it amounts to ordering food in a bodega and ask for the bill. There are however so many places in Spain I want to see, I want to make an effort to become more sufficient in the language too. Or baking. I’m a decent baker, but it’s quite haphazard and I stay within my comfort zone because success is ensured. So I would like to push myself a bit more. Try new things. And make my offspring happy in the process by being forced to eat the results of my efforts.

One thing I absolutely loved this week was going to the theatre, to see Ralph Fiennes in Anthony & Cleopatra. I love Shakespeare’s plays and although Macbeth has always been my favourite, this has been an incredible performance. It was a quite mild evening so I had a little walk from the Tate along the river to the NT and it really recharged my batteries. Another two things to add to my list of deserving more effort. Attending more cultural events – and maybe playing it a little less safe as so far I always seem to stick to the classics that I have already read and go out exploring.


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